Here is a Solution that ALL T.I.'s Need:

   It's wrong to sexually objectify women. I don't mean it's wrong ethically, or morally, or spiritually; I mean that it's wrong practically and logically. Let me explain...   Let's say your out and about and you see this woman and you think to yourself: "Damn, look at that sexy ass! That's the sexiest ass I have ever seen and I would do just about anything to tap that!" And men seriously think this way all the time. Now, just for the sake of illustration, let's say that woman sees you admiring her sexy ass and she walks right up to you and says, "I see you noticed my sexy ass; you wanna fuck?" And you are like "Oh my God, my dreams have come true!" So you go with this woman to a hotel or her place or your place, it doesn't matter. Then you fuck like rabbits, the whole time you are just staring at her body and thinking about how sexy she looks and how lucky you are. Maybe you are so turned on that you do it three or four tim...

   You know, humans have a lot of problems, but I think the biggest problems have to do with relativity  and perspective . Let me give you a few examples...   I have these friends who are a darling couple. They love each other, have good jobs, a nice house, and five wonderful children. The other day I am over at their house, in the kitchen, and the husband comes back from the supermarket. The wife says, "honey, did you remember to buy the Pepsi this time?" The husband slaps himself on the forehead and says, "oh my gosh, I am so sorry darling, I forgot again!" And she absolutely goes nuts, yelling and cursing at him, then storming off to their bedroom.    Now, they are both my friends, so I go off to the bedroom to comfort her. The husband tries to warn me not to because she is so angry. But when I get to the bedroom she is not angry at all, in fact she is in tears. Total despair, just weeping buckets of tears, and I ask her what's the matter? And she says,"...

   I have just invented a new Holliday, a perfect Holliday, the Holliday that everyone needs: "National Fuck You's Day!"   Think about it for a moment and you will see that this is perfect in every way. Holidays are supposed to be cathartic or even narcotic, but these days they are failing. Every year less and less people are celebrating traditional Holidays. It has gotten so bad that Christmas is now two months long and officially starts before Thanksgiving, immediately after Halloween. Clearly this is wrong.   But Fuck You's Day will be a holiday that truly has something for everyone: On Fuck You's Day you get to say "Fuck You" to anyone you want, as loud as you want, as often as you want, without any fear of reprisal. Fighting and payback will be strictly illegal, but there will be no need because if someone says "fuck you" to you, well you can say it right back! Just imagine the possibilities...   The President can kick it off with a mornin...

   OK folks, this requires a trigger warning because I am about to say a word that I am not allowed to say. One single word that as soon as I say it will fill your heads with all sorts of images and ideas about what kind of person I am and what you think I believe in and all sorts of other delusions that you would be wrong about.   The only reason I feel strong enough to say this word to you right now is because I read it written in a New York Times article recently over twenty times. So if the New York Times can say it so much I have to wonder if the time has finally come when I can say this word publicly without immediately being judged an asshole or worse. Are you ready? Here we go, the word is: "Zionist. "  That's right, I said it, "Zionist," as in "Zionism," as in "that word which has something to do with Jews and I don't know what, but I do know that anyone who says it must be a Nazi or conspiracy freak." That "Zionist."  ...

   On the way here I saw a billboard celebrating a local Police Officer. Among his accolades he was credited with "Selflessly Serving The Community."    I'm all for celebrating good cops, as rare as they are, but when I saw this I was truly put into a state of awe and reverence. "Selflessly Serving," I mean wow, man! Now here's a cop I can really support! Can you imagine "Selflessly Serving" as cop, day in and day out? Hitting the mean streets in uniform for no money, no pension, no health insurance, no Police Union to back you up when you shoot some poor, innocent bastard? Just "serving" the community with no regard for yourself at all? Getting no kick out of being a bully or carrying a gun and hiding your thuggery behind a badge and a double row of riot-armored Storm Troopers... just a "Selfless" cop.   Yeah, man, like if Jesus Christ Himself, the role-model of "selflessness," if he was a cop; that's what this gu...

   I don't know about you, but I am a serious student of history. And I don't mean "television history," or "internet history," I mean real  history. The kind that you only find in books or by talking to old people and really listening to them. So I spend a lot of time in Libraries and the only thing I use the internet for is to order books.    And when you are a serious student of history, like I am, you discover all sorts of obscure facts about modern life that most people have absolutely no clue about. Like The Illuminati, for example. Did you know that The Illuminati are a secret society that controls the entire world? OK, a lot of people know that. But did you know that The Illuminati is controlled at the highest levels by Royal Bloodlines like The Rothschilds and The Queen of England? OK, maybe you knew that too, but here is the real  secret: Did you know that these Bloodlines are all actually interdimensional Reptilians?    See, this is the...

   There is nothing funny about rape. Just hearing the word "rape" brings to mind the large number of people whose lives have been ruined by it. Turned upside down. I mean, I really feel for the poor victims of rape. All those poor men...   Have you ever slept with someone who just wasn't that into it? It's terrible! If someone is really cold in bed it can be difficult to even cum! I can't even imagine how unpleasant it must be for a man performing rape. Having sex with someone who actually hates you? That must scar you for life. I mean, if you want to have sex with someone who hates you, you should do it the traditional way and just get married.   And that's not even counting the rape victims in Prisons. If you think it's hard raping a woman; imagine how hard it must be raping a man and pretending it's a woman! And it's absolutely rampant. Male-on-male rape in U.S. Prisons far outnumbers male-on-female rapes. And why can't we put a stop to it?...

 Despite what the left-wing media would have you believe, there is a big difference between White and Black people that is pretty obvious if you just spend some time thinking about it.   First we'll start with Black people. A Black person might beat you up and steal your wallet, they might carjack you, or burglarize your home. A Black person may sell dime bags of drugs on the street. In Africa a Black person might create small armies of child soldiers to fight other small armies of child soldiers. Examples of powerful Black leaders include Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and Malcom X.  Now White people. A White person is less likely to mug you, but might drop two Atomic Bombs on your country, one of them on a major civilian population center with no military targets. A White person is less likely to burglarize your home, but might burglarize the economy of your entire country using the IMF, World Bank, and Multinational Corporations. A White person is less likely ...

   I've been in a lot of situations in my life where I was worried that someone, maybe a cop, maybe a Private Investigator, maybe a CIA or FBI Agent, maybe a Methamphetamine fueled paranoid delusion; it really doesn't matter which because I have developed a foolproof strategy for dealing with these.   What I do, when I spot someone suspicious, is I smile real big and wave directly at them. If they are ultra suspicious I might even approach them and introduce myself in a very friendly manner.  The beauty of this is that, if they are  spying on you; this totally "blows their cover" and is the last thing they want. Also, you can tell a lot about a person's motives based on how they react to a direct smile and wave. If they are just some innocent stranger then there is certainly no harm in a wave and a little chit-chat. If they jump and look surprised or try too hard to ignore you, well that tells you something.   In bigger Intelligence Operations this can have...

 You know, sometimes people try to tell me that I am being "Paranoid." But I don't let it bother me.  Any time someone accuses me of being "Paranoid" I just repeat to them that popular modern proverb about Paranoia that I'm sure most of us have heard at one time or another: "Just because I'm Paranoid doesn't mean I wont murder you while you sleep for your conspiracy to poison me."

 When I went on vacation from the United States and visited Communist Cuba all the people I met there were fascinated by me and used to ask me all types of questions, the most common of which was: "What is it like to be in a free county?" And I would honestly answer them by saying: "How would I know? I'm from the United States!" They must have thought I was from Denmark or Sweden or Switzerland or something.

 I like to think about words and their meaning and how society uses them. For example, have you ever wondered why a woman's ovary cycle is called "Menstruation?" I mean, shouldn't it at least be called "Womenstruation?" Or was is named the "Menstrual" cycle because it's a "trial" for men to deal with? At least it kinda works in the word "Menopause," as in "it's time for men to take a pause in using this uterus..."

 ... but there are some things that we should never joke about, things that are serious, things about which nothing at all is funny.  Like a people's preferred personal pronouns. It simply a matter of education to understand the importance of this. I firmly believe that a person should at all times be called by whatever pronoun they wish, on one condition: They have to be able to correctly define what a "pronoun" is.  I'm being totally serious. First things first.  If you can't even define what a pronoun is and how it relates grammatically to nouns, adjectives, verbs, adverbs, and so on; then it is completely ridiculous for you to demand the right to use one.

 Anyone who really knows beer knows that Budweiser sucks.  So who died and made Budweiser the "King of Beers?"  Was it a self-appointed title? Did "Prince Budweiser" marry "Queen Guinness" and inherit the title? Why hasn't anyone sued for false advertising? If Budweiser can get away with calling itself the "King of Beers," why can't I bottle my own piss and call it "The King of Water?" Who's gonna stop me? Or is it, like, a subtle Jesus reference? Where this one beer stands up and announces himself "King of the Beers" and none of the other beers believe him. They're all like "King of the Beers? Is he meshugina crazy? We haven't even had a King for hundreds of years!" And even though none of the thousands of other beers recognize his title, there are still these twelve beers which taste so bad and are so poor and so ignorant about beer that they are like, "yep, he's the King of the Beers, ...

 In all seriousness I do strongly believe in being Politically Correct, or '"P.C." for short.  If we are not sensitive to everyone's needs and situation then what makes a political party who is not P.C. different from the Nazi's, the Fascists, the Totalitarians? Am I right? And we all know, without even having to think about it, that there is only one party in America that cares about being P.C.  You already know who I mean, I don't even have to say it.  Only one party who cares about everyone equally and does not discriminate against any people for any reason.  And I'm not ashamed to stand up for it.  Throughout American history being P.C. has gone in and out of fashion, but I am proud to say that my party is the one party who always has and always will stand for human rights, equality, and true democracy.  That's why I'm an Anarchist...

 Ever thought about the candy bar Snickers? Sure, we all have, its a delicious candy bar.  But what's up with the name? A "snicker" is like a rude, mean kind of laugh. Usually at someone else's expense. So, are you snickering at others while you eat it because you get this delicious chocolaty treat and they don't? Is it because the candy bar company "snickers" at you? Because you are paying them for a big, fat, ass and a mouth full of cavities? How about a candy bar called "Leers," or "Squints," or just get straight to the point and call it "I'm Laughing At Your Pain?"

 Have you ever taken "Tylenol with Codeine?" The pain medication? When you take that, are you taking it because it has Tylenol in it or are you taking it because it has Codeine in it, or are you taking it because when you mix the two together you get some magickal mixture that you can't get otherwise?  The answer is obvious, and every idiot knows, that you are taking it for the opiate Codeine.  The Tylenol is incidental. It's something you can buy at a gas station.  Nobody takes "Tylenol with Codeine" and says " Doctor, this isn't strong enough, I really need more Tylenol!"  It's the equivalent of being caught snorting Cocaine and saying, "I'm not snorting Cocaine! I'm snorting 'Baby Laxative WITH Cocaine.'  The Cocaine is just an additive!"  How stupid do they think we are?