Here is a Solution that ALL T.I.'s Need:

   It's wrong to sexually objectify women. I don't mean it's wrong ethically, or morally, or spiritually; I mean that it's wrong practically and logically. Let me explain...   Let's say your out and about and you see this woman and you think to yourself: "Damn, look at that sexy ass! That's the sexiest ass I have ever seen and I would do just about anything to tap that!" And men seriously think this way all the time. Now, just for the sake of illustration, let's say that woman sees you admiring her sexy ass and she walks right up to you and says, "I see you noticed my sexy ass; you wanna fuck?" And you are like "Oh my God, my dreams have come true!" So you go with this woman to a hotel or her place or your place, it doesn't matter. Then you fuck like rabbits, the whole time you are just staring at her body and thinking about how sexy she looks and how lucky you are. Maybe you are so turned on that you do it three or four tim...

   You know, humans have a lot of problems, but I think the biggest problems have to do with relativity  and perspective . Let me give you a few examples...   I have these friends who are a darling couple. They love each other, have good jobs, a nice house, and five wonderful children. The other day I am over at their house, in the kitchen, and the husband comes back from the supermarket. The wife says, "honey, did you remember to buy the Pepsi this time?" The husband slaps himself on the forehead and says, "oh my gosh, I am so sorry darling, I forgot again!" And she absolutely goes nuts, yelling and cursing at him, then storming off to their bedroom.    Now, they are both my friends, so I go off to the bedroom to comfort her. The husband tries to warn me not to because she is so angry. But when I get to the bedroom she is not angry at all, in fact she is in tears. Total despair, just weeping buckets of tears, and I ask her what's the matter? And she says,"...

   I have just invented a new Holliday, a perfect Holliday, the Holliday that everyone needs: "National Fuck You's Day!"   Think about it for a moment and you will see that this is perfect in every way. Holidays are supposed to be cathartic or even narcotic, but these days they are failing. Every year less and less people are celebrating traditional Holidays. It has gotten so bad that Christmas is now two months long and officially starts before Thanksgiving, immediately after Halloween. Clearly this is wrong.   But Fuck You's Day will be a holiday that truly has something for everyone: On Fuck You's Day you get to say "Fuck You" to anyone you want, as loud as you want, as often as you want, without any fear of reprisal. Fighting and payback will be strictly illegal, but there will be no need because if someone says "fuck you" to you, well you can say it right back! Just imagine the possibilities...   The President can kick it off with a mornin...

   OK folks, this requires a trigger warning because I am about to say a word that I am not allowed to say. One single word that as soon as I say it will fill your heads with all sorts of images and ideas about what kind of person I am and what you think I believe in and all sorts of other delusions that you would be wrong about.   The only reason I feel strong enough to say this word to you right now is because I read it written in a New York Times article recently over twenty times. So if the New York Times can say it so much I have to wonder if the time has finally come when I can say this word publicly without immediately being judged an asshole or worse. Are you ready? Here we go, the word is: "Zionist. "  That's right, I said it, "Zionist," as in "Zionism," as in "that word which has something to do with Jews and I don't know what, but I do know that anyone who says it must be a Nazi or conspiracy freak." That "Zionist."  ...

   On the way here I saw a billboard celebrating a local Police Officer. Among his accolades he was credited with "Selflessly Serving The Community."    I'm all for celebrating good cops, as rare as they are, but when I saw this I was truly put into a state of awe and reverence. "Selflessly Serving," I mean wow, man! Now here's a cop I can really support! Can you imagine "Selflessly Serving" as cop, day in and day out? Hitting the mean streets in uniform for no money, no pension, no health insurance, no Police Union to back you up when you shoot some poor, innocent bastard? Just "serving" the community with no regard for yourself at all? Getting no kick out of being a bully or carrying a gun and hiding your thuggery behind a badge and a double row of riot-armored Storm Troopers... just a "Selfless" cop.   Yeah, man, like if Jesus Christ Himself, the role-model of "selflessness," if he was a cop; that's what this gu...

   I don't know about you, but I am a serious student of history. And I don't mean "television history," or "internet history," I mean real  history. The kind that you only find in books or by talking to old people and really listening to them. So I spend a lot of time in Libraries and the only thing I use the internet for is to order books.    And when you are a serious student of history, like I am, you discover all sorts of obscure facts about modern life that most people have absolutely no clue about. Like The Illuminati, for example. Did you know that The Illuminati are a secret society that controls the entire world? OK, a lot of people know that. But did you know that The Illuminati is controlled at the highest levels by Royal Bloodlines like The Rothschilds and The Queen of England? OK, maybe you knew that too, but here is the real  secret: Did you know that these Bloodlines are all actually interdimensional Reptilians?    See, this is the...

   There is nothing funny about rape. Just hearing the word "rape" brings to mind the large number of people whose lives have been ruined by it. Turned upside down. I mean, I really feel for the poor victims of rape. All those poor men...   Have you ever slept with someone who just wasn't that into it? It's terrible! If someone is really cold in bed it can be difficult to even cum! I can't even imagine how unpleasant it must be for a man performing rape. Having sex with someone who actually hates you? That must scar you for life. I mean, if you want to have sex with someone who hates you, you should do it the traditional way and just get married.   And that's not even counting the rape victims in Prisons. If you think it's hard raping a woman; imagine how hard it must be raping a man and pretending it's a woman! And it's absolutely rampant. Male-on-male rape in U.S. Prisons far outnumbers male-on-female rapes. And why can't we put a stop to it?...